This time last year I was crying because the man I was infatuated with wouldn’t choose me.

Today, I am crying because I can’t believe what I’m doing.

I’m living out of my car.

I’m staying in a hostel tonight to recuperate

The funny thing is I’m oscillating between fits of giggles and tears

laughing at myself for the absurdity of crying

but I need to purge the emotions

Last night, I slept in my car down by the beach but I didn’t get a really peaceful sleep. I think I need one night of security amongst the tumult, to recharge

I stayed with the Irishman on Tuesday night and while I appreciate the gesture, it doesn’t really allow me to rest.

He offered for me to stay tonight, but I really need time to myself to write, to cry and just exist

I got a lot of sun today and I think that’s exhausted me quite a bit

Even though I have nowhere to be, I am still not stopping

Today, I woke up at 05:30am, went down to the beach and I haven’t stopped.

I haven’t been doing anything strenuous, but it’s the lack of respite, nowhere to go

Enter hostel.