I’ve only got a few weeks left in the Island State and I’m very excited about it.

I arrived at the end of November, so I’ve lasted a good 4 months – that’s about double what I thought I’d manage.

With Venus and Mercury in Retrograde motion at the moment, some things have become clear to me.

I don’t know about you, but I love a psychic reading.

Froff ’em.

I just love psychics and intuits in general, because they see through the mask and the facade of bravado.

I’ve been told how stubborn and strong headed I am, yet if you met me you probably wouldn’t pick it. They know you’re little secrets but they’ve only just met you.

Understanding. That’s what someone like me needs.

Tangent over, I love psychics so much that I’ve had 4 readings in the last 15 months.

Okay maybe she’s obsessed.

No, don’t worry I’ve decided I’m going to let the cards fall where they may from now on, because I have too much knowledge and I get impatient haha. (damn free will!)

I’m pretty happy with the track I’m on now, even though I have no idea what the eff I’m doing next, at least I know what I don’t want. I’ve figured the way for me to figure out what I want is to first determine what I don’t want.

I know I don’t want a stable career, children or a domestic relationship. So whatever I do is just not in the direction of those things. Amazing!

Doesn’t make it that much easier though.

So the thing about psychics, is you have an idea of what to expect… But you only see the full picture in retrospect.

I’m forever trying to pin point – oh that thing she said is happening in this situation!! – but it doesn’t work until later when I realize what’s happened. Life is meant to be lived, right?

So the psychic had mentioned a clearing of residual emotional/psyche clutter and debris, before I could move forward with something. We’re currently in Venus retrograde (and eclipse season!) and I’m starting to understand what she meant.

Little full circle moments, what-if’s and what-abouts being resolved and laid to rest.
Peace.

I’ve also been noticing the personal (spiritual?) growth I’ve undergone.

Being back in Tas – where the triggers don’t change – has been interesting to say the least. I’m no longer reacting to certain situations, I am just acting. Taking a new path in response.

That’s really exciting – emotional management and stress management are some things I’ve been trying to strengthen.

Pretty much anyone will tell you I never had a ‘backbone’ growing up. What’s the point in standing up for yourself if people will disrespect you anyway? Better off to save the hassle of arguing.

Now I stand strongly and staunchly in my convictions.

Maybe a little too staunch, but it’s for good measure.

It’s hard coming from a people pleasing/fawn response past and I feel like an irrational dickhead more often than not, but I am standing up for myself and standing up for my needs – meeting my own needs when they are not being met by the collective.

And that’s really important.

It can be very difficult and causes cognitive dissonance, but the result is much better than burn out.

The psychic had told me last year I needed to learn to distinguish between what was ‘my’ luggage and what was the other persons and not take their bs on

and I have finally arrived there.

I no longer take on the stress of another because they can’t handle it, I hand it back to them. I can offer support, but I’m no longer a martyr.

I am so proud of myself!!! How awesome.

So things don’t seem to go to plan, but they are going to a greater plan. Everything is always working out whether it’s how we expected it to or not.

Also, I’m fully back in an MK&A field.

They were the OG influencers and NGL they shaped me.

No wonder I’m so boy obsessed!!! No wonder I hated gym class, love being lowkey dramatic and looking cute etc.

I’ve been watching So Little Time and Manuelo is so iconic, I think I need to become a Nanny.

Catch ya on the flip side x