I’m not a fan of bad weather.

Hence, why I lived in The Warmest Place in Australia for 6 out of the 8 years since I left the Coldest Place in Australia.

So yesterday, I rolled into Sunshine Coast and I was excited… relieved.. This week has been a means to an end and I’ve been growing overstimulated, tired and a bit fed up.

Being in new towns which aren’t exactly accommodating, not feeling safe because of said unknown town and being unable to rest properly.

On Tuesday night, my campsite neighbours told me about an impending thunderstorm, with 90km/h winds and hail. Batton down the hatches. I went to bed early and woke up when I felt the storm coming in. I saw the flicks of lightning and started to panic. It’s such an unusual feeling, having a panic attack in the confines of your safe space. Physically I am safe, yet my heart is about to pound out of my chest.

I was successful in reminding myself I am safe and how many times have I camped in a storm. See? The rain is actually kind of comforting. Deep exhales and shallow inhales.

I am so glad I have the tools in my emotional toolbox to bring myself back from a panic attack, because there is absolutely no one else there for me now. I felt it before when there were people around, but now there is literally no one here to help.

Yesterday, I was driving along the highway.

The Bruce highway in Central/South East QLD is so fucking boring.

We are so spoilt with North Queensland.

I was potting along, going my usual between 80-100km/h, respecting my car and my own comfort limits.

I allow whoever needs to pass, to pass. I am not that guy who goes top speed and gatekeeps the overtaking lane.

Coming to the end of the overtaking lane, this motherfucking truck doesn’t let me merge. That’s fine, I’ll ride it out and you can pass.

Oh what’s next? ANOTHER TRUCK trying to pass.

This absolute fuckwit, there is no space left for me and he’s literally trying to push me into the guard rail.

Like sorry, I have a small car but I’m still a person? I don’t need to overcompensate for being an insecure little man with a tiny dick by having a big truck and intimidating other road users?

These people need to stop tailgating and go to fucking therapy.

First impression of Noosa was okay – I came in off the back of some road rage and I’m irritable due to a drop in estrogen (love PMDD), so I pulled in to Sunshine Beach and jumped online searching for a place to lay my head aaaaand everywhere is booked out. Or Extortionately expensive. Sorry, I don’t want to pay $60 for a caravan site or $80 for a bed in a hostel?

It seriously had me wondering if I just shoot through to down past Gold Coast. This sucks.

I cut my losses and checked into a hostel – did my washing and had a very early night to try to ease the PMDDevil aaaaand it starts pouring.

I’m silly, so I leave my clothes out on the line all night, thinking it might clear up and they’ll be dry in the morning.

Nope.

Absolutely saturated.

I LOVE MY LIFE.

Not to be crass, but where the fuck is the sunshine in the sunshine coast?!

My great mood prevails.

Thank the lord for my cousin generously offering her abode tonight and with any luck I’ll be able to park there for the next few nights.

I know I’m meant to be testing my intuition and everything, but there needs to be some kind of monitoring of control.. I’m not interested in spending all of my savings on accommodation when food and fuel are totally necessary.

I’m looking forward to the upswing in my hormones so my mood improves.

The really shit thing, is everything feels wrong and it feels like there is absolutely no way out, but it is literally just hormones.

This is fucking ridiculous but it happens every single month.

I am adamant I am not having children, because if my premenstrual hormones are this bad, what the fuck would my post partum hormones be like? Absolutely. Fuck. That.