I tend to unintentionally gaslight myself and just power through (thanks aries rising).
Every now and then, someone will say something like ‘you’re holding onto a lot’ or ‘you need to express xxx’ and I’ll be like ohhh my god you are so RIGHT!

Sometimes I trawl through the vanlife groups and marketplace searching for inspiration of what I can do to my van. Recently, I saw a post along the lines of… ‘Hey guys, I’m really interested in this van but can someone please look over the ad and tell me what they think? I don’t want to buy a lemon.’

It felt very familiar and made me realize I bought a lemon.
Mechanically? The vehicle is fit, low kms and running. That’s where our focus was mainly.
The fitout (what I was most concerned about hehe) is where I’ve had troubles.

Now, I am very lucky to have mechanically minded people around me, because while my dad was looking out for a van that will go the distance, I was looking out for a van that felt like a home.

I had made lists and determined what I wanted in the fitout – high roof, lined walls, bed/couch conversion, kitchen inside/at the front (there are vans that look like apartments and then there are vans with a bed, a deep fridge and some curtains thrown in and there isn’t much in between) – so I didn’t have a lot of options.

When I came across the ad for the van I would end up buying, I had a really good feeling about it. I have no doubt fate brought me to this van – the seller had a connection to my family from a lifechanging event twenty years ago and it was surreal to close that circle.

I remember when I first stepped inside the van, I felt really warm and positive. Like bubbles, opportunities started filling my mind. I took it for a test drive and knew it was mine.

Unfortunately what I didn’t know, is someone who doesn’t know much about How Things Work was buying an off grid home on wheels from someone else who doesn’t know How Things Work.

A few days after I brought the van ‘home’, I went to stay on the boat. We were looking through the van and I had trouble opening the tailgate. It was jammed. I said I could go without the back door, but how am I going to get my clothes?
After a while, we realised there is an emergency release lever on the inside of the tailgate. The inside which is lined with timber. So I have an emergency release button, behind a metal panel, covered in timber. We took the metal panel off and for aesethic purposes, I put the timber back on and left a little hole for the lever. Hey, the washing line comes in handy.

The first 2 weeks were great, I drove the van here and there and transferred all of my stuff into it.
Then one morning I woke up and the fan wasn’t working. I checked the fridge and it was not on.

I had to move the mattress and open the cupboard underneath to check the battery meter and it said the battery was dead. Okay no problems, turn the car on to charge the battery. Now we have a message the battery is overheating.
This is my home, the battery is overheating, what the fuck is going on?! Oh and it’s a Saturday. and I’m scheduled to work at a music festival this afternoon.

I went to a battery shop to get the battery replaced, but even with a brand new battery, the meter was giving me grief.

With a strike of luck, I managed to find an auto-leccy on call. He essentially said the wiring was a backyard job by some who was obviously not qualified. _{This is the part that annoys me – I wouldn’t just go around wiring something up, because I know where my limits are. How can you go doing that, then sell the thing to someone knowing it’s not kosher?}

So I was pissed off because I have lost a days wage and had to fork out on call out fees, but at the end of the day I was so grateful I was able to get the problem fixed.

Fast forward a couple of months, I’m staying on the farm and taking the time to chill – car is staying still most days and plugged in to 240V, so we’re great!

I wake up one morning and the fan isn’t working. Not. This. Again! Hmm how come the battery is dead when I’m plugged in to 240V? (Please realize I have no idea how electrical systems work).

I went back to the battery shop (same chain, different location) and gave them the run down, could you please test this battery… They did some sniffing around and found a dead battery. With a box around it. Hidden. A dead battery. Which had been pulling energy from my new battery. What the fuck? _{I mean, sorry but I’m on my own, how was I supposed to know there was something dodgy about this random box with a blank screen on it? and even if I did find the battery myself, what would I have done? I said it before, I know my limits.}

I don’t even want to start on that. Oh, also my 240V battery charger isn’t actually working! and we are in a Northern NSW summer, so solar isn’t getting much juice.

This all happened the week of Christmas, so I was very very lucky to get a last minute booking with an autoelctrician (female! an angel!) who removed the dead battery for me, but she could see there were more issues and asked me to come back so she could rewire everything. I honestly feel so blessed to have found her – it would have been an opportunity for someone nasty to pull the wool over my eyes, but she genuinely helped me and charged a fair price. Essentially the way the dual system was set up, was a fire risk. Electricity! Running through wood! Conductive!
I don’t even want to write about it because it has me absolutely seething thinking about it.

The fact that I innocently bought a home and it had these issues that could potentially cause a fire, it was a ticking time bomb. and I was none the wiser. Nor was the person I bought it from. Probably not the person before her. I am so mad at the people who converted the van.

So now, I have 2 batteries securely chilling together with lots of ventilation space around them in the bigger compartment (I just need to put an external vent in the panel) and I have a voltage meter under the bed so I can check it whenever I want.

So 3 months and alot of cash later, I am feeling better about the whole setup.

The other thing, is the gas hose on the stove was very worn and after a few weeks of use, I had a gas fire. I was very very lucky I had the instinct to turn off the gas amongst my panic, but I hate to think what could have come of that. Two things I don’t fuck with are gas and fire. Anything else I can try to take on.

I mean, maybe I should know to look at a gas hose! But I don’t deal with gas. and like I said before, it would have been different if my partner or my dad were there to look over everything but I did it all myself and learned the hard way.

I just find it so crazy how campervans can be bought and sold without any regulations. It wasn’t on the seller to know and I absolutely do not hold hard feelings for her, but I suspect she had these issues and that’s lowkey why she decided vanlife wasn’t for her.

I worry for backpackers who come to Australia and buy a van on the cheap (mine wasn’t cheap and I still have these issues) – I am so lucky to have people in the know to give me guidance over the phone, but I can only imagine experiencing this in a foreign country.

I’m not the brightest spark, but looking at things other people have done just makes me feel like ??????

So, It only took 6 months, but now I feel confident in the van and I’m so ready to set off and do something fun in it. I guess it’s been a good probation period to make sure I actually like vanlife, because when I go home I will be updating the fitout to make it better for longer term travel.

If you made it this far, sorry that was a lot! But I don’t talk about things, I don’t complain. I get through hard stuff on my own and still try to be there for everyone else.

No wonder I like time to myself lol.

But if you are looking at buying a van please keep my little issues and mistakes in mind and check the battery systems and check the gas setup.

love love xx